Unspoken Attraction (Dave/Karkat)

John smirked. "am I going to have to teach the kitty obedience?" he asked

"Depends," Dave mused. "If this involves spoon feeding me cat nip every time I shake your hand, I'm gonna have to pass."

"It might involve punishing you every time you misbehave" John smirked.

Dave totally lost his face of stoicism as his steady snickering rumbled into just full on cracking up, unable to fight back the imagery this conversation was conjuring in his head.

"Jesus, Egbert, all this talk about cats and punishment, if you could just SEE what I'M seeing right now-" Dave couldn't settle down now that he was going, still snickering as he rambled, "-fucking, imagine with me, that like, I Strider stride up to your house one night and you're standing in the door way adorned in this classy-as-fuck, home-made, S&M leather, cat woman costume with a whip and the top part of the outfit where the titties go that you can't really call a bra cuz it pretty much ain't one, are like, I don't know, Hello Kitty water balloons strapped to your chest, and you're talking me down like I'm some bad pussy cat for shitting outside the box, and the next thing you know-"

Dave had to stop and take an extra deep breath before he could continue, "-I'm sucking your dick and you're feeding me all this messed up talk about how you're a mama cat just nursing her kitten and how that is some how something that the average, kinky joe gets off to, which it totally isn't, but we sure as shit are breaking that uncrossed border of socially unacceptable, sheer sick-fuckedness by turning nursing kittens into centerfolds and we make cat noises when you come. THE END."

John snorted, then broke into laughter. "Jesus Dave! You have the weirdest imagination! Who would even do that? I don't even know the first thing about S and M!"

"Good, because I'm pretty sure I'm not into that shit, anyway," Dave chuckled, looking back towards the movie as his laughter finally died down.

"Maybe I should anyway then" John grinned.

"Should what? Tape hello kitty balloons to your chest?" Dave asked with a smirk.

John grabbed Dave's shoulder and forced him to the floor. "Punish you" he grinned

Dave returned John's grin with a challenging smirk, staring him dead on through his shades. "For what?"

"Wouldn't it be easier to list what you shouldn't be punished for?" John replied simply.

"What are you talking about, I'm a god damn angel," Dave insisted.

"I don't see a halo" John snickered. "Or any wings. But I do see something that looks suspiciously like horns"

"Angels don't need wings," Dave muttered, resting his good hand on John's sternum. "Besides, I haven't done anything wrong. What could you possibly punish me for?"

"I could punish you just because I feel like it" John replied with a grin.

Dave slowly trailed his hand along John's pecs, silently praising the beefcake his friend had become. "I think you might be the one with the horns."

"Nah, I'm only human" John replied with a grin. "Humans aren't as nice as they're cracked up to be you know"

"Humans also have this thing called a conscience. If you listen carefully, you might hear its muffled protests through the ball gag you've trussed yours up with," Dave replied, gripping John's shoulder to try and hoist his torso back off the ground.

John grinned and just pressed down with more of his weight. "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Is your shoulder angel on break too?" Dave asked with a weak chuckle, slightly unnerved by the sudden realization of how vulnerable he was while stuck beneath Egbert. Even if he had his other hand to work with, John had gotten a lot bigger since they last rough-housed. Sure, he could probably still move way faster than him, but he could never out muscle the guy. The Egberts had all the mangrit.

He tried not to let it get to him. "What's it gonna take to get me back up, Egbert?"

"I don't know. Bargain with me" John replied happily.

"I've got a Ghost Busters action figure with your name on it," Dave offered.

"I have all of them" John grinned. "Try again."

"I can't. All of my bargaining chips had been invested into that fateful day at the flea market when I found that action figure." Dave heaved a dramatic sigh. "I guess this is how we're gonna die then, just laying here until one of us drops from old age. Or boredom. You hear that, Egbert? You are going to kill us both in the cruelest form only feasible by the twisted minds of geology professors and stamp collectors. But you also have the power to stop this tragedy. Won't you save us from this reign of insufferable evil?"

John giggled. "Drama queen" he accused with a smile.