Provocation of a Fluke (Bro/Karkat)

It was quiet when Bro finally got home. He had been out at a gig since yesterday morning and was only just now getting back. He wondered where Dave was and it took him a little bit in his half drunken stupor to recall that Dave had flown to Washington to visit his precious Egderp yesterday and that a troll was supposed to switch places with him for the month. He teetered down the Hall to Dave's room, Kicking the door open to see if a troll actually dared to stay alone in a house with him.

He'd been needing a new way to entertain himself anyway. There was only so much you could do to phase Dave, and by this point he'd done it all. He was in serious need of fresh meat.

After John informed Karkat that he wanted to hang out with Dave in Washington for a while, the troll refused to be any part of their 'best-friend-bonding bullshit'. Even if he only was around John for the sake of guarding him from Vriska, perhaps out of sheer pity, he rejected the concept of having to stick around two humans as he might catch a severe case of 'dumbass'ery. Once his distaste, no, his REVULSION towards John and his friend was cleared up, he was more than willing to take temporary residence at Dave's place until they got back. This situation had seemed ideal for the red-blooded troll as opposed to the former scenario. It would just be him and Bro and from what he had been told, Bro didn't talk a lot- if in fact ever.

Excellent.
A human who knows better than to ever speak up; he liked him already.

In John's-stupid-friend's house, Karkat decided to isolate himself in Dave's room, inspecting the various equipment strewn around the floor.

When the door to Dave's room slammed open, he realized that it was, to his expectations, too good to be true.
He despised Bro just as immediately as he had liked him.

Every conceivably sharp instrument that laid around this smuppet-littered apartment could not match the daggers he glared at the oldest Strider at that moment.

"WHAT?"

Bro stared at the angry troll. He didn't remember this one too clearly, which ment it could only be one of two trolls. The voice was definitely masculine which cut it down to one. It had to be the infamous Karkat Vantas.

He shrugged slowly, rolling his shoulders like he didn't care, though inside he was enthusiastic. From what he had heard about the troll, not only did he have a major stick up his ass, he had an anger problem to boot and he used a kind of blade.

It was like Christmas came to the Strider household a whole six months early.

"Bored. Meet me on the roof. Bring something Sharp."

Was this a joke? The poker face Bro was pulling made it nothing short of impossible to decipher what the human's intentions were behind this random offer.

He hadn't exchanged more than two words with the human and they were already going to fight?
Actually, come to think of it, it had been ages since Karkat had the opportunity to fight someone, that is, someone who actually fought back. Even in his brawls with John, it was always one-sided. Fucking wuss.

"FINE."

Anything to let off some steam, right?

"Chill, bro. You keep yellin' and the neighbors'll bitch a fit." Bro stated. He made a point of walking out of the room at the leisurely pace of a normal human, just to Karkat could see how much of a care he didn't give.

Like Karkat cared if he upset the neighbors; it would just give him someone else to yell at.

He watched the human exit the room and followed suit at a fair distance of fifteen feet behind him. Well, not following suit in the manner of strolling around like a douchebag so much as following where Bro was heading because he honestly didn't know where the fuck the passage way to the roof was.

Bro smirked internally. Then he stumbled on the stairs outside the apartment.

Maybe Dave was on to something about those damn stairs.

It was only a short walk leading Karkat to the roof. Once the door was open, Bro flashstepped out of sight to lie in wait. Who said he had to play fair?

Karkat snickered at Bro's temporary downfall at the foot of the stairs, that is, until he did the exact same thing momentarily after him. He hoped to Gog the human didn't see that.

When he lost sight of Bro after their ascent up the stairway, he took that as a sign to get his weapon out. He always carried his clawsickle around because, well, what was the point of protecting John from psycho-bitch trolls if he didn't have something to defend himself with at all times?

He took several steps onto the roof top's surface, searching wildly for the elusive human and began snarling at nothing, "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FIGHT, NOT PLAY HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK, FUCKASS!"
Technically, Bro had said nothing about fighting, but he could always hope that's what he meant.

Bro flash-stepped behind Karkat and shoved him. "Stop yelling" he smirked before flash-stepping out of sight again. He could do this all day. This was pretty high up there on the list of fun.

Karkat felt like his heart had just lodged itself in his throat when he choked out a very startled, "G-GUH!" and whipped around to face emptiness.

This was just playing plain dirty.

He wrung the handle of his sickle contemptuously, shrieking to the point of spit flying during his outburst, "I'LL STOP YELLING WHEN YOU SHOW ME YOUR SORRY ASS LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO FUCKING TEAR IT INTO BITE-SIZED PIECES!"

Bro appeared in front of Karkat. "Good luck catching me. But you're more than welcome to swing all you want. Unless you're gonna abscond like a little pussy."

He crossed his arms, slouching slightly. "Well? Aggreviate or abscond?"

As if Karkat was going to dignify that with a verbal response.

Instead, his only answer was to swing his sickle violently at Bro's chest, sneering wide enough for the points of his teeth to show.

Bro simply took a step back, causing Karkat to miss. "You can do better than that." he openly smirked. "Be chill, you think better when you're calm."

If it wasn't bad enough that Karkat couldn't land a scratch on the guy, he just had to harass him with such a bored posture. It was just insulting.
The more Bro spoke, the more enraged Karkat became and he slashed furiously at him a second time, lunging now, "I don't need to calm down; it's you who needs to stop FUCKING AROUND!"

Bro simply steps out of the way and shoves Karkat down onto the roof. He put his foot on his back to hold him down. "I'll let you up when you calm down." He stated, slipping his hands in his pockets.

Was there such a thing as too much fun?

Karkat's sickle scattered out of reach across the roof top when he was knocked down. He stretched his arm out towards it in vain, the muscles on his back shifting uncomfortably beneath Bro's shoe as his chest was pushed into the surface.

He twisted his head to the side and squinted up at the human, nostrils flaring, "SHUT UP YOU SAC OF GRUB-SUCKING SHIT!"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, only calm now" Bro snickered. "Then I'll let you up. But only when you're done yelling. Now that you're stayin' at Casa de Stridenasty, There are some rules that need to be addressed"

"WHAT.DID.I.JUST.SAY?!"
The floored troll elbowed Bro's leg, a feat that looked incredibly pathetic when attempted from his current position. All he could really do was grasp the human's leg and try to bat at it like a bird with only one wing to fend itself.

"Rule number one: I am the big man on campus. What I say goes." Bro stated, unfased by Karkat's flailing. "Dose. No yelling. Trois." He paused at this point to look down at Karkat "No messing with my shit."

Karkat gave up on flailing at the immovable object that was Bro's leg and instead balled his fingers into fists to rest at either side of his chest.
"Look, as fascinating as that is, I really don't fucking care. I've only been YELLING because you PISS ME OFF SO FUCKING MUCH THAT IT'S BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME NOT TO! IF YOU LEFT ME ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE, I WOULDN'T BE SHOUTING, NOW WOULD I?!?"

Bro moved his leg and sat, straddling Karkat's back instead. "Fucking Chill. I haven't even been home twenty minutes yet. Just wanna get to know my new roomie." He smirked. "Got a problem with that? Think I'll make you eat outta a pail?"

Karkat struggled under Bro's weight, trying not to think about the fact that this human's ass was pressing against him, keeping him very well acquainted with the floor. Humiliating. Insulting. Disgusting. He scoffed at that last comment, rolling his eyes, "Do you even fucking know what those are for?"

Bro leaned over to Karkat's ear. "I do" he snickered, his breath hot on Karkat's ear. "They're the troll equivilant of the dirtiest, nastiest sex toy there is. You guys have to put all your genetic material in them so give to the drones so you don't die and can make little grubs. But you should be less worried about them and more worried that YOU might become a bucket if you fuck with me"

Bro wasn't even sure what was coming out of his mouth now. Empty threats probably. Eh, He may just scar the little squirt.

If all of that heated, dirty talk had not just come out of that shit-for-brains human's mouth, Karkat might have found himself conflicting with arousal. Or so he told himself as he tensed up at that final statement, his eyes widening to an officially freaked-the-fuck-out expanse.

Dear Gog.
They had left him with a rapist.

He stared intensely at Bro's expression, trying to read something, anything, past those indifferent shades. Was he bluffing? Karkat wasn't dumb enough to test that theory because... what if he wasn't?

His only rebuttal was to remain silent, his breathing betraying him as its shallow lungfuls of air gave away just how terrified he had become by Bro's little speech.

Bro smirked. "You gonna calm down?" he asked. "Gonna chill, mello, relax? Cause if you can prove to me that you're cool, I can let you up."

Karkat's face was priceless. There were definately going to be some shenanegans later.