No Crust (Gamzee/Tavros)

After SBURB, every troll had to undergo a transformation so that they could all mesh into society without too much of a fuss being made over their presence. The ectobiology lab provided the adequate technology necessary for changing them. 'Changing' being a relative term as it took about a month for them to be classified as 'human' and the process was nothing short of relentless. The way it was set up, it made the trolls wonder if someone from the past had designed the lab specifically for this moment when they would be integrated into the world of humans. It’s as though it already knew about their impending doom and was just there to finish the job of wiping out their species entirely.

The horns were the first to rot away. There was nothing human about the horns trolls had and they were not entirely made out of bone, but the parts that were dried out and crumbled over a week of treatment. Their teeth were still relatively sharp, yet it was not as razor-like as before. The male trolls freaked out the most when the bone in their bone bulge was replaced by muscles and the females just about had heart attacks when they simultaneously began to experience the bloody stages of womanhood leaking between their legs. It was terrifying, to say the least. Nothing short of a bad horror movie with no punch line.

Gamzee remembered when everyone was getting these fleshy, orangish pink blotches on their skin while his were turning brown. Sollux had set up the machine to turn them Caucasian, but when they had used sopor slime to sedate the troll, he didn’t quite turn out that way. In the end, he had been settled to look more like someone from India than another average, white kid in America. They had only picked Caucasian for the sake of blending in better due to the higher white population in North America and it wasn’t thought of to be such a big deal that his skin was any different from theirs. He just saw it as another reason he didn't fit in with the other trolls.

For a while, the trolls lived with the four humans, three per house hold. Gamzee was put on a prescription for anti-depressents and anti-psychotics, which was working out fine for the years that followed, just him, Tav, Equius, and the Egberts. That is, until the Egberts asked that he find a job. So he did. And what a splendid job it was. Some times it was so splendid, he needed to take a handful of his prescription just to enjoy the moment.

“Young man? H-Hello? Are you alright?"
An elderly woman gently waved her hand in front of Gamzee’s glazed eyes and his mind slowly returned to reality in a fade. He smiled at her. Everything Gamzee used to be was gone. It was stomped in the neck when they took away his clubs, his pies, and finally, his very species. And all he could do was smile and say, “I’m SoRrY, pApEr Or PlAsTiC?”

Tavros didn't have as much to adjust to as everyone else. Sure, he had the largest horns and his head felt oddly light when they were gone, but that was the extent of his physical adjusting. His wirey black hair, the same that every troll had, softened and changed to a dark chocolaty brown and his skin lightened to the same generic peachy pink as the other ten trolls (it was bizarre that Gamzee had turned out the dark one) but with the promise of a tan.

He had to give up his metal legs, the machine that had made the change in the trolls couldn't do anything with the in organic material. Instead, the machine gave him back his old legs, unable to heal his spine and leaving him handicapped once more.

Living with the Egberts had been difficult at first, but once more he was the first troll to adjust; the handicapped were treated with much more respect here than on Alternia. He had found a job shortly after Equius, working with animals at a pound. He had retained his ability to speak with the animals and that made his job so much simpler, but made him miss home no less.

Tavros was probably the only one to notice Gamzee's continued strange behavior on earth, seeing as how he still had red, no there weren't any more quadrents, strong feelings for the former indigo blood, so it was concerning for the invalid to watch the pills dwindle away faster and faster.

Three hours more of staring at whatever was in front of him went by at a pace Gamzee could not register as either fast or slow. It just went by at some point and he couldn't recall if it took an eternity or if it was over in the blink of an eye. Or at the red blip of an item, like the one he was holding as he was tapped on the shoulder by one of his fellow staff members in a blue apron.

When he turned and saw the woman waiting to take his place as he was given permission to take off from work, he resisted the urge to hug her. He had been told to stop doing that every time his shift was over and this was the first time he remembered not to. But he did it anyway.

After another scolding for what could potentially be considered 'sexual harassment', Gamzee was set free from the confinements of his grocery store prison. If he could summon the energy or even bring himself to make a sudden movement, he would have skipped out of there, spinning on his toes and prancing into the night. Instead, that same, distant smile was all he could muster any more to clarify how he felt about anything and everything.

As he made his way to the pet store Tav worked at like he always did after work, he got egged by a speeding truck with a passenger screaming something about 'take that terrorist' out the window. He paused in his step when he felt two eggs splatter against his chest. He should feel something about this. He just didn't know what. He turned around and gave the fading truck a double thumbs up and a goofy grin before turning back around in the direction of Tav's store.

Gamzee stepped onto the welcome mat outside of the door to the pet store, gazing distantly at the see-through glass door and at a customer inside. Had this only lasted a moment, the customer likely wouldn't have thought anything of it, but Gamzee just stood there, staring, yet not really staring. Just looking heavily in their direction. Only until they walked hesitantly towards the door and opened it for him did he react, "OhHh, ShIt, My BaD- i FoRgOt ThOsE tHiNg'S dOn'T mOvE."

He had become so accustomed to the automatic doors at his work, he kept forgetting how normal doors worked. It was the same for when he went to rehab. He didn't open doors. Other nice people in loose pajamas did for him. He nodded slowly in appreciation at the person not in loose pajamas as he stepped inside, scanning over the pets in cages and aisles upon aisles of chew toys and catnip before he saw his main man.

He didn't walk over to him and say hello. He remained where he was and raised his arms like he had just scored a touch down, calling out in a broken tone, "HeY! HeY, tAv! TaVvVv-Oh-RoOoS!"

Tavros looked up, a slight frown marring his features. The promised tan of his skin made him a lovely caramel brown, and his upper torso was toned well from pushing himself around in the wheelchair. He was used to this kind of behavior from Gamzee, the former clown would often stop by when he got off work and stick around until Tavros got off.

Tavros's boss didn't mind so long as Gamzee didn't distract Tavros from his work, which it really didn't, if anything Gamzee's presence made Tavros more confident about his work.

Pausing to put the bag of wood chips in his lap on the shelf, he rolled over to Gamzee, giving a little smile to the taller man. "um, hey Gamzee. How was work?" he asked

Gamzee slowly lowered his arms like a robot until they were on top of his previously bull-horned brethren's chair, beaming down at him with something genuine suddenly behind his smile, "GoOd, i ThInK. I dOn'T rEaLlY rEmEmBeR, bUt I wAs tHeRe, JuSt NoT, YoU kNoW, aLl ThErE."

He kept on grinning down at his friend, adoring this brief moment every time it was available to him. It was part of what he liked about working within walking distance to Tav's work place. This minute where he could just be around someone he knew, someone who had been through Hell and back with him. In a world with no miracles, this was where he could defy everything and go 'This mother fucker knows what I'm talking about. See? I'm not crazy.' Tavros was his attachment to reality. Without this moment of the day promised to him, he wasn't sure he could make it through much of anything.

"HoW aBoUt YoU mY fAvOrItE mOtHeR fUcKeRrRrR... nO wAiT, yOu'Re StIlL wOrKiNg, HaH. ShIiIiIiT, i ShOuLd LeT yOu GeT bAcK tO wHaTeVeR tHe FuCk, HuH?" Gamzee said this like it was no big deal, but his iron grip on the wheel chair suggested otherwise.

"um, yeah, I've still got a half hour" Tavros admitted. He really didn't like the absent look on Gamzee's face either. "Gamzee, you can wait around for me if you want. Why don't you go pet the cats again? They really like you" That and the cats were the only animals smart enough to tell Tavros if Gamzee started popping pills like a sopor cupcake. Their cages opened into the back were only the employees could go, so Tavros didn't have to worry about Gamzee just letting them out.

"Go spend time with the cats and I'm sure I'll be out of here in no time" Tavros smiled "I promise. You can walk me home after that okay?"

Gamzee's constant smile faltered as he relinquished the chair, "AiIgHt." He stood back up and teetered back and forth, scratching at the clear residue of albumen stuck to his shirt from one of the eggs. "I cAlL dIbS oN pUsHiNg YoUr ChAiR aRoUnD wHeN yOu'Re DoNe, ThOuGh."

A half hour. Shit. He didn't know how long that was and fuck looking at a clock. Those things lied to him all the time any which way he read them.

"Okay" Tavros smiled almost sadly. "Now go say hi to the kitties for me, I've got to feed the other animals before I go, that should take up the last of my time. In fact, you can wheel me to the back by the cats if you want, the door's right by them."

"AwWw MaN. ThAt'D bE hElLa LeGiT." Gamzee did not hesitate as he slipped behind Tavros and took a hold of the handles, wheeling him off in some direction. Over the years, as Tavros got stronger and grew older, the one with the fried think pan had noticed how much harder it was to push him around in this thing with all of that extra muscle in it. Not that he hadn't gotten stronger too, just that it was now a bit of an exercise to get him from one place to the next. It's not even as though the disabled one ever really needed the ex-clown's help besides reaching things on the shelf, but Gamzee liked feeling useful around his friends friend, even if he was wheeling him off in the wrong direction.

Tavros didn't mind in the slightest that he was being taken in the wrong direction. He just used it as an opportunity to pick up things misplaced on the shelves and sticking them back in the right location. He didn't even really have many animals left to feed, only the ones in the back, and this was really just a ploy to draw out the time he would have left after feeding the animals.

Gamzee was chill with just strolling around the aisles with his buddy, stopping every now and then as Tavros reached out for something to switch with something else. That is, he was chill with this, until he started being able to pay attention to what he was doing and where they were going. It was always a slow, steady stream of logic that flowed into the back of his mind that sent shivers down his spine. Everything that he touched and everything that he heard and everything that he was and everything that he wasn't at that moment attacked his escape from reality and dragged it steadily down to Earth so that it could beat his false sense of peacefulness and fulfillment into an early grave.

Earth.
The place they called home because it's not as though any of them had much of an alternative. What Gamzee wouldn't give for another alternative.

Gamzee rubbed his hands all over the sides of his neck at one of the stops, feeling incredibly itchy out of nowhere. He hated it whenever Tavros caught him take a little too much of his prescription because he was the only person who ever seemed truly bothered by it. He patted his friend on the shoulder, grumbling gently, "I gOtTa TaKe A pIsS."

"Um, Alright" Tavros mumbled. "Take your time, I'll go feed the animals and I should be off when I'm done" he smiled. He watched Gamzee go before wheeling to the back, the taller male's itching having not escaped him. He was going to have to talk to him about the pills sooner or later and he loathed to do it.

Gamzee waved Tavros off before taking a slightly hurried step towards the public restroom, wasting no time inside to dig his orange bottle of pills out of his pocket and twist away the cap. This was the only time he moved quickly. He spilled some misshapen amount of his prescription into his shaking palm and brought it to his mouth, pausing as he thought of the disappointed look on Tav's face the last time he saw him do this. He whispered an internal apology after he tilted his head back and finished gulping the pills down dry. After washing the bitter after taste out in the tap water from the sink, he pocketed the bottle and headed back outside. He then turned right back on his heel as he realized that he actually did have to 'take a piss'.

Once he was finished relieving himself, he came outside again, looking for Tavros. When he remembered that he had gone to feed the animals, he calmed down a bit and started wandering around, still scratching at his neck as he waited for the new dosage to kick in.

Tavros was almost done with feeding the animals by the time he caught a glimpse of Gamzee wandering through one of the cages. He hurried and finished up before clocking out, grabbing his jacket and wheeling out to meet him. "Hey Gamzee. Um, ready to go home? He smiled"

Gamzee smiled back at him, "SuRe Am, MoThEr FuCkEr." He wheeled Tav through the store, having to bump repeatedly with the front of the wheel chair against the door before someone was nice enough to open it for him and Gamzee discovered that they couldn't travel through solid objects after all.

Outside in the night, he continued wheeling Tav wordlessly, that is, until he recollected that they needed to go home, "TaV, yOu KnOw WhErE wE aT?" He stopped them under a street lamp on the side walk, looking around distantly at the pitch black street corners. It was times like these that he missed his trollish night vision.

"Yeah Gamzee" Tavros smiled. "We're headed the right way, don't worry. You'll see houses after the next block, then we're only two blocks from home."

"Oh, RiGhT, i KnEw ThAt." Gamzee continued pushing Tavros along, vaguely recognizing some of the houses. He kept wheeling his friend around the neighborhood until he spotted the man with the fedora and pipe squatting beside the pony tail guy outside their shared home, scooping up something into a dust pan amongst shattered glass. It looked like Equius had tried to toss him the remote and had horrifically miscalculated the STRENGTH and CIRCUMFERENCE of his throw. Gamzee wasn't entirely sure why he was capitalizing 'circumference' in his trail of thought, but decided that it really didn't matter to him as he wheeled Tavros inside since the door was still open.

Mr. Egbert called after them about dinner being ready in about an hour, slightly drowned out in the stampede of apologies Equius was dishing out to the older man. Equius had deemed Mr. Egbert leader of the household and therefore demanded his utmost respect and gratitude. He seemed to sweat every time Mr. Egbert spoke or moved a muscle and it was slightly unnerving to be watching him while he did this. Even through Gamzee's blank eyes, he could still pick up on creepiness, especially when it radiated so brightly from the former blue blood.

Inside, Gamzee lead Tavros up the stairs to their shared room, pushing him up the ramp Mr. Egbert had installed for his disability with little to no regard as to whether or not the shorter man wanted to go this way or not.

"YoU eVeR wOnDeR aBoUt WhAt SeA mOnKiEs ArE?" He shut the door behind them, taking a seat on the edge of his bed as he continued, sounding perfectly serious in his drawling tone, even though he was talking about something completely ridiculous, "BeCaUsE i WaS wOnDeRiNg AbOuT iT tHe OtHeR dAy. DoN't KnOw WhY, jUsT wAs, YoU kNoW? I mEaN, i GeT tHaT tHeY'rE sUpPoSeD tO bE tHeSe MoNkIeS fRoM tHe SeA n' AlL tHaT sHiT, bUt ThEy DoN't EvEn LoOk LiKe MoThEr FuCkInG mOnKiEs."

Tavros laughed. He had heard some of this rant from other customers before; they actually sold Sea monkey kits at work.

"Do you want a sea monkey kit?" He asked with a little chuckle. "I can get you once since you've been doing so much better with your meds."

He wheeled the rest of the way to his bed and lifted himself with his arms, meaning to get up on the bed.

Gamzee didn't say anything when the meds were brought up. Why's a mother fucker gotta be like that? Bringing that shit up. It's not like he could shrug it off and act like he wasn't popping his prescription when he had to go get it filled four times a month.

Instead of answering, he moved over to where Tavros was and helped him climb onto the bed, even though it wasn't entirely necessary. Once again, it was just him trying to help and even in that effort, he was struggling to pull Tav out of his wheel chair. He smushed his face against Tav's chest as he wrapped his arms around him, fumbling backwards a few steps before wobbling forward and plopping his friend on the mattress. "ShIt, MoThEr FuCkEr, WhEn DiD yOu GeT sO dAmN hEaVy?"

Tavros let out a little chuckle. "Its all the muscle from wheeling myself around and lifting at work" he replied. "I guess I didn't notice. Or, um, it could just be that you're not as strong as you used to be. Maybe you should start lifting weights with Equius?"

He scoot himself into a comfortable position on the bed, patting the space next to him. "Wanna sit with me and watch a movie?"

Gamzee flopped backwards onto Tav's bed, rolling further onto his back to bring his legs up and tugged his shoes off. He tossed them to the other side of the room so that they hit the wall and landed lopsided on his bed, "AwWw HeLl YeAh. WhAt'S tHiS sWeEt AsS mOtHeR fUcKeR wAnNa WaTcH?" He held his knees to his chest with his feet in the air, playing with the socks still clung around his toes.

"Why don't we, um, watch Dumbo? You like that because it has the clowns right?" Tavros smiled. "Or you can pick another movie for us to watch. I don't care what we watch so long as we can, um, you know, watch together?"

"ThAt MaKeS tWo Of Us ThEn," Gamzee mirrored a grin back at Tavros before slidding off the bed and heading over to the DVD rack. He squatted in front of it, resting his weight on the balls of his feet, "DuMbO sTaRtS wItH a 'D', rIgHt?" He looked over his shoulder back at Tav, perfectly serious.

"Yes" Tavros replied with a little chuckle. "Its the one with the elephant on it. Remember? We've seen it before, um, like two weeks ago" He shifted so he could sit up. "Or you can pick another movie, I don't care"

"OoOhHhH! ShIt, WaSn'T tHaT tHe OnE wItH tHe ScEnE wItH tHe MaMa ElEpHaNt CrAdDlInG hEr BaBy ElEpHaNt? CuZ tHaT sCeNe MaDe Me CrY sO hArD, mAn." Gamzee ran a finger along the spines of the DVD cases, now kind of wanting to watch Dumbo, yet kind of not due to how fucking glum it made him when he saw that part in the movie. In its favor though, it had gotten funnier from that point on and there were plenty of childish, musical bits he had liked, but still.

He spent a lot of his spare time watching comedies, trying to fill the void of maddening depression from his lost sense of purpose. It was supplied with plenty of pills to keep it at bay and he draped it in a tarp portraying a broad grin in the hope that no one would peek behind the curtain and see how hollowed out he had become. Plainly put, he just didn't like being sad and realizing how much sadder he truly was deep down; it was sort of like getting punched in the face and then being kicked in the nuts a moment afterwards.

None of the movies were rated 'R' partly because Mr. Egbert disapproved of them watching such things under his roof along with the shared, obscure belief that having Gamzee view violent content would reawaken his inner subjugulator. But they didn't seem to realize that that part of him had died out a long time ago. What was the point in painting the walls with blood when they would only dry out brown in the end? And it wasn't even that pretty shade of chocolate-milk brown Tav used to have. Used to have.

"HoW aBoUt We WaTcH--" Gamzee tugged one of the cases out at random and read its title crookedly, "HaRrY aNd tHe HeNdErSoNs?" He squinted at the Sasquatch on the cover, "ThAt iS oNe FuZzY mOtHeR fUcKeR."