No Crust (Gamzee/Tavros)

John closed his mouth and shook his head. "Not at all, man." he replied without swallowing.

"All of that and more. He was the one that informed me you needed new shoes a few weeks ago, because you had stepped in some glass and it punctured the sole which made your feet soggy when it rained." Mr. Egbert stated. "He really looks out for you."

That was right. And it had been Tavros who stitched up his foot and bandaged it afterwards. Tav did all of that for him? Just for a loser like him? Tavros really must have thought a lot about Gamzee. And there he was, just fucking it up with his pill-popping and general dumb-fuckary; there was that guilt boiling in the pit of his belly again. This was all enough to make Gamzee want to tear up with joy. Aw, fuck, who was he kidding, he was already choking up, something thick catching in his throat as he struggled to find the words that would fit his thoughts all right and proper. "YoU aIn'T jUsT pRaNkInG mE, rIgHt? BeCaUsE tHaT'd JuSt Be AlL kInDs Of FuUu-DgEd Up."


"Your reaction would lead me to believe otherwise," Equius remarked, taking another sip of milk.

"I would never prank about something so serious." Robert replied sincerely.

"Not at all meaning, Not the right time at all." John reiterated, swallowing had with a little cough.

Gamzee chewed on some more parmesan, mulling over what Mr. E said. That was a whole lot for him to have to try and sink in and he wasn't entirely sure if he could grasp the concept of his best bro wanting to be anything more than his, well, best bro. This was especially so when he was barely capable of processing anything while coming down from a 'feel numb' high caused by one too many pills. So he stayed quiet for a while, scraping his fork against his plate with his head held down. "WoW..."

"Ah... sarcasm," Equius declared, nodding slowly at John. "Then when exactly would be the correct time?"

Mr. E simply nodded, eating his own food carefully.

"For you, I'd say you'll know on your own around the time you get a real girl friend, one that isn't creeped out by your obsession with my little pony." John replied.

That was too much to think about; way too much. Gamzee would have to save all of that for another time such as when he could think about things, like, even basic things. Then he would move onto this more complicated not-so-brolationship he had going on with Tav. Gamzee finished off his second helping of parmesan with all of the finesse of a drugged walrus, lifting his plate and lapping the cheese off. One nice thing about not having his face paint anymore was the freedom of being able to get food on it and licking it off without that bitter shock of make up ruining the taste. He set his plate down before looking back at Mr. Egbert, grinning, "Am I aLl SeT fOr dEsSeRt NoW?"

"Or you could simply explain it to me," Equius persisted, frowning at John. Actually, he was always frowning. Always. "Help a... brony out?"

John stopped, letting his fork fall back to his plate. "I think I just lost my appetite." he stated with a grimace.

"Wait for everyone else to finish" Mr. E smiled.

Gamzee looked back hopefully at the other two, watching John drop his fork on his plate. One down; one more to go. He stared at Equius who simply stared back, just beginning to eat his parmesan. For a while, they stayed like this, one calmly eating and never breaking eye sight while the other kept on gazing expectantly. Actually, Gamzee really couldn't tell if Equius was looking back at him or just in his general direction what with the guy's glasses and all.

"YoU aLmOsT dOnE yEt?" Gamzee finally asked, leaning his head in his palm, his elbow propped up on the table.

"No," Equius replied, still chewing.

"Oh..." Gamzee waited a little longer, but not too long before asking again and again and again and again and again, receiving the same answer again and again and again and again and again.

"You want to finish mine?" John offered, sliding his plate towards Gamzee a little. "I don't mind. Equius's attempt at slang and my little pony references has made me unhungry, no matter how good it is."

Robert chuckled, finishing up his own plate and watching the boys.

"UnHuNgRy... MaAaAaAn, I dIdN't EvEn KnOw ThAt WaS a WoRd," Gamzee drawled thoughtfully, taking John's offered plate and jabbing his fork into the unfinished meal.

"That is because it isn't," Equius sniffed dryly, already half way through his parmesan.

"YoU sUrE yOu'Re CoOl WiTh Me GoInG aLl PaC mAn, WaKa WaKa On ThiS, bRo?" Gamzee asked John, his fork poised with a chunk of cooked eggplant in front of him. He figured that he should probably double check with John to make sure that he was definitely okay with him going to town with another dude's parmesan. There had been too many instances in which the former clown had just assumed it was alright had gotten his knuckles smacked sharply with a utensil for trying to eat off someone else's plate.

"Its fine, I'm really not hungry anymore." John smiled. "Don't worry about it, I'm not gonna change my mind or anything"

Gamzee didn't need any more permission than that to start shoveling down John's food, unable to foresee the dangers in eating too much dinner and not having enough room for dessert. As Gamzee bowed his head and started lapping up the final traces of gooey cheese off the plate, Equius made a face at the sight of a former highblood devouring scraps in such an unconventional and disgraceful manner.

Equius paused before he took his last bite, muttering, "Must you eat like that?"

Gamzee looked up at Equius from table level and shrugged. "AiN't No BeTtEr WaY tO cLeAn A pLaTe," he said, wiping his mouth off with his arm mid-way before remembering they had napkins. He tried to cover up the slob by rubbing his arm down with his napkin, glancing back at Mr. Egbert. "NoW cAn We HaVe DeSsErT?"

"Yes, We can have some now" Mr. E chuckled, gathering up the plates and stepping into the kitchen. He returned a moment later with smaller plates, each laden with a generous slice of custard pie.

Gamzee stared eagerly at the slices of pie being distributed to each of them, waiting for one to be set in front of him. Once he finally had his slice, it took all of his years learning Earthen eating etiquette to not just pick the pie slice up with his bare hands and shove it in his mouth. Shakily, he picked up his fork and started eating, muttering praises to Mr. Egbert's baking under his breath with each mouthful.

Before Equius took a bite, he was sure to thank Robert for the sugar-based addition to the former, scheduled meal.

Mr. E just chuckled at their praise.

John, however, picked at his slice with a bored expression. "I still don't see what you guys think is so great. I mean, he always bakes something for dessert, its hardly anything new."

"Such sweet confections were... uncommon on Alternia. It would be senseless not to appreciate their succulent, saccharine taste, regardless of how often they are presented by your elder," Equius stated, washing down some of the pie with more milk.

"AnD tHeY aRe MoThEr FfFf-- AwWw..." Gamzee started, his eyes widening for half a second before he continued, "ThEy TaStE rEaL gOoD, aWrIgHt?"

"You're doing so well watching your language." Mr. Egbert praised with a smile. "Makes me proud."

"You'll get sick of it eventually." John stated with certainty. "Just wait."

"ThAnKs, Mr.E," Gamzee beamed at Mr. Egbert with a lazy, half smile. "I'vE bEeN pRaCtIcInG." His boss yelled at him less when he avoided using cuss words at work, so he just got better at remembering not to use them so he didn't get in as much trouble. Punishment and reward system in full effect.

"I can see how waiting for something to go amiss can appear to bring about the inevitable, but as of presently, I must saddle on your father's side. Yes, it is quite yummy, yummy, yummy, I... got love in my tummy... and I feel like a-lovin you. Love, you're such a sweet thing, good enough to... eat thing, and that's just a-what I'm gonna do," Equius muttered in a non-harmonious baritone with a completely straight face, his eyes never leaving his plate as he cut up another slice out of his pie and took a bite.

"That's good! There really is no use for swear words, they're just a thing to get people in trouble" Mr. Egbert stated with a little nod.

John facepalmed with a groan. "That was completely unnecessary." he told Equius. "Completely and totally."

"YeAh, BuT tHeY sUrE mAkE tAlKiNg A lOt EaSiEr," Gamzee admitted, shoveling more of the pie in his mouth.

"I should think not," Equius muttered, licking his lips slowly at John. He was just messing with him simply because he was the declared 'creepy' one of the family. Besides, he had no romantic interest in the human foal, he just enjoyed occasionally disturbing the young man. Do a few creepy things and he'll shut up, either that or prattle on about how uncomfortable it was making him, either of which he didn't mind hearing.

John stood up, pushing his plate away. "Yeah, I'm done. Don't come back to the room when you're done." he stated, walking out and shaking his head.

Mr. Egbert chuckled "It may but its still not good for the children"

"Such discourteous of manner, that one," Equius muttered to himself, waiting until John left to slide the young man's plate beside his own, dragging it along the table's surface with a pinky before adding the barely tarnished slice to his plate. No sense in leaving a perfectly good piece of pie to waste.

Gamzee gulped down his mouthful of pie, looking at Mr. Egbert, puzzled. "WhY?"

"Teaching them vulgar language is a horrible thing to do and it shows poorly of our culture" Robert replied simply.

"If YoU sAy So," Gamzee shrugged, finishing his piece of pie and the last of his milk before rising to his feet. He took his plate and glass and sauntered into the kitchen, setting the dishes in the sink and rinsing them off.

Equius continued eating his pie casually, pinky raised whenever he sipped his milk, his eyes slowly drifting to Dad behind his cracked shades. "Would it be troubling if I used the couch tonight?" He was never certain how upset John was with him and it seemed best to let the prankster settle down before re-entering their shared room since John could very easily be booby trapping it as they speak.

"I don't mind" Robert chuckled. "I know how John can get when the two of you get into it."