If I Gave You My Love (Bro/John)

Dave rolled his eyes, then raised an eyebrow, looking at Bro again, who hadn't moved, but he was obviously listening. "Chill dude," he said, loud enough to be heard over the running faucet. "Sorry if I just assumed your thoughts would be on this fine piece of man meat."

"Dave, I already told you!" John whined, grinning. "Its not your man meat that I'm trying not to think about! Shhhhhh! Or he'll hear you!" he took the pan from Dave and busied himself with giving it a quick wash.

Dave almost snorted with quiet laughter, then said in a much quieter voice, "Real subtle dude."

Bro would have agreed with Dave's sarcastic assertion, had he heard it. He was definitely starting to get the idea that something was up. Dave hadn't exactly waited very long to slip John into their game, and he'd asked way too many follow up questions for it to be nothing. It made him a little uncomfortable, knowing there was scheming afoot, but he wasn't going to butt in like he actually cared.

"Dave!" John hissed, just enough to be barely audible to Bro "If you don't stop, you can make your own damn lunch! I will go back to my dorm and take my chances with Norton if I have to!"

Dave raised an eyebrow, continuing to speak low, "Okay dude you lost me sorry. Are you threatening to go home and fuck your shitty roommate?" He shrugged and turned off the sink so his next sentence was more audible. "Kinda far from your ideal dude dontcha think?"

"Okay first, I would not touch Norton with a Ten foot pole representing my penis. I don't think anyone would. The guy can't even keep a girlfriend." John stated. "And I told you to shut up!"

"Yeah okay, shutting up. I don't wanna put my grilled cheese in peril of not existing. I'm done causing time paradoxes." Dave raised his hands in surrender, then lowered his voice again, "Seriously dude I'm sure he's got the idea now. You're gonna fuckin' overdo it."

John flashed Dave a little grin. "If you're done then do something useful and put the burger stuff away." He forced himself to pout as he put the saucepan and skillet on the stove. "And open both cans of soup for me. I still can't find a can opener."

"Yeah dude, you got it," Dave said, digging into the grocery bags and putting away everything that looked like it might be involved in a hamburger.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure we don't have one," he said as he set the cans next to each other on the counter. "Bro lemme borrow your sword."

"Nah," Bro replied from the futon.

"Come on dude, I gotta get these things open."

"Fine. But only cause I'm hungry as fuck."

"Sweet!" Dave dashed over to where the swords hung on the wall. Bro was there before he got there.

"Step off," he said, pushing Dave back as he took it himself and headed over to the counter.

John continued to fake pout as he started buttering up bread and letting the skillet heat. "How in the world do the two of you survive without a can opener?" he grumbled under his breath, honestly surprised since canned food tended to be the easiest to keep and cook.

"Like this," Bro said, trying not to look too long and that adorable pout, "Stand back Egbert. Dave you get to hold the cans. You like holding cans right?"

Dave grumbled, but crouched down, his arms over the edge of the counter to hold the soup steady.

Bro looked behind him to make sure John was out of the arc of his blade, then drew back and slashed horizontally across the top of the cans. He nudged the now severed tops off on the counter, and turned back to the futon, trying to let his eyes linger as briefly as possible on Egbert, unable to help but wonder if he was impressed.

John frowned, his eyes drawn to the blade of Bro's sword. "You can really fuck up your sword doing that. Especially if you hit the cans wrong and make a nick in the blade." he stated.

He turned back to the soup and dumped the cans in the pot, setting it on the back burner as he put the first two sandwiches in the skillet.

"Good thing I don't hit 'em wrong," Bro said nonchalantly, though his eyes went to the blade as well before he sheathed it and hung it back on the wall.

Dave stood up when he realized Bro wasn't hanging over him with a sword anymore. He moved back to watch John for a minute. "You want me to leave you lovebirds alone?" he asked quietly once Bro was back on the futon.

"If you want. I mean, I can do all this myself. I'm just really nervous about being alone with him" John mumbled. "I mean, I don't think he'll do much... Will he?"

Dave looked at him, an eyebrow raised over the rim of his shades. "Wasn't the point of this whole thing so he would do things to you?"

"I don't know!" John squeaked. "I-I" He clamped his mouth shut, his face crimson as he turned back to the stove, set on not embarrassing himself further.

Dave rolled his eyes. "Okay man, I'll protect you from the sexy beast for now, but I'm gonna have to sleep sometime, just so you know." He looked down at the stove. "Wait why do we need soup for grilled cheese anyway?"

"Grilled cheese and tomato soup. Duh" John replied, rolling his eyes. "Geeze Dave. How can you be so deprived?"

Dave shrugged and jerked his thumb behind him to indicate Bro. "See this is why you gotta stick around man, school me on all the culinary wonders Bro's been deprivin' me of."

"Sorry I got things to do that don't involve setting the kitchen on fire, I'm a busy guy" Bro said, clearly not busy at all as he lounged on the sofa.

"Liar." John stated clearly. "I bet you don't know how to cook much more than Dave does." He turned the heat down a little as the skillet heated up.

"I said setting the kitchen on fire for a reason, dude," Bro replied, "I know where my strengths lie and they ain't in front of a stove."

"I'm pretty sure I remember some kind of sick fire when I was little," Dave said.

"That was your fault, you were distracting me with your being a baby."

"Well, You can come here and I'll teach you how to make grilled cheese. Its really easy." John stated nonchalantly. "Unless cooking is too cool for you Mr. I'm-too-cool-to-smile"

Bro raised an eyebrow, but stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Dave looked between the two of them and with a little smirk at John, shoved his hands in his pockets and headed off towards his room. "Lemme know when it's ready."

"I'm warnin' you Egbert, things could get literally too hot to handle here," Bro said, looking a little hesitant.

John snorted and rolled his eyes in disbelief. "If you say so." He set the spatula on the counter and stepped away from the stove with his arms crossed, making it painfully obvious that he was trying to subtly not touch Bro. "Pick up the spatula and flip the grilled Cheese." he instructed with a straight face.

Bro stood in front of the stove, glaring down at the sandwich simmering in the pan. He grabbed the indicated implement and prodded at the bread, too lightly to get under it, instead pushing it to the side. He used the edge of the pan to get leverage enough to force the spatula under, sloppily turning it so it was half out of the pan. Finally he nudged it back so it was flat on the bottom and rather severely off center. "Okay," he said, turning to John with a raised eyebrow.