If I Gave You My Love (Bro/John)

John jumped again, yelping when his leg caught on the arm of the couch, causing him to slip and fall onto his ass on the floor. He stared up at Bro with wide eyes, thankful that he was urine free. Though he could do without the whole heart trying to leap up his throat. And now his ass hurt from its reintroduction to the floor.

Bro let a barely audible exasperated sigh as John flipped yet again. This kid was gonna meet an untimely end if he didn't rein it in on the jump scares. He plopped the clothes down on the fallen Egbert and stepped over him to get to Dave.

Dave slipped away, just managing to evade Bro's grasp. "Dude, you're gonna give the kid a heart attack. Can't you just be cool for a week?"

Bro huffed and just turned off the rig, picking the records off the plates and putting them back in their sleeves.

John sat up and shoved his clothes into his backpack. "Um, th-thanks Mr. Strider!" he squeaked. "Um, Dave, why don't we go Hang out in your room or something? I'll cook dinner later, kay?"

Bro just grunted in response as he set about fixing the settings on the turntable rig.

"Yeah, good idea Egbert," Dave held his hand out to help John up, still scowling at Bro.

The older Strider looked back at the mention of dinner, raising an eyebrow. But he was still a little too pissed about his gear to ask for specifics.

"You did remember to put food in the fridge right? Behind the swords?" John asked Dave, following him towards his room. "All the stuff I told you to get?"

"Yeah yeah, gonna be a glorious feast." When he got to his room he slammed the door just to get on Bro's nerves.

Bro grumbled to himself as he set everything safe, getting out a few more records to chill himself out. Figures Dave would try to show off when his friend was here. And he could see the appeal in doing so. He could just imagine the kid lighting up like a Christmas tree.

"So what do you do around here when you're not strifing or talking to me?" John asked happily. "Anything fun?"

John Egbert may have been a derp, but he was a crafty Derp. Already he was casing Dave's room in order to think up the most perfect prank possible to get even.

Dave sat on the bed, totally not sulking about the episode with Bro, then looked around the room as well. "Well we got PC gaming, could have a shitty photoshoot, my own DJ rig, and all my dead stuff," he waved his arm around the majesty of his room. "Hey you could do a guest comic for SBaHJ or something, though I'm still not sure you get it."

"Okay. Dave, I get the irony thing." John stated, totally serious as he dropped his bag and sat in Dave's computer chair. "And I will tell you why. You know how I hate Betty Crocker? Evil Batterwitch? Yeah well, she's my great grandmother. There. I finally told you. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Well I'll be damned. You're the heir to the Betty Crocker fortune? Hold on I'mma get down on my knees to bow down to the new king of irony."

"Knock it off Dave." John snorted. "I'm just saying I get the whole irony thing. That's what Sweet Jeff and Hella Bro's about isn't it? The irony?" He shrugs. "I just don't wanna do a guest comic. "We can always walk around the neighborhood I guess"

"You got any money? There's a pretty sweet oldschool arcade nearby," Dave fished around in his pockets for change. "Probably a good idea to get outta the house with Bro bein' pissed off at me and all."

John's face lit up. "Yeah! I've got like thirty dollars in quarters from my laundry last week!" he exclaimed, hunching over to dig around in his bag. "Arcades are always fun! There was this one I used to always go to back home that had Joust! I got really really good at it"

"No way dude, I am the king of Joust. Gonna fuck your ostrich monster up but good." Dave got up and put his ear to the door, hearing the music on the other side. "Cool. Bro's mixing, so he's probably chill enough he's not gonna kick my ass on the way out."

John triumphantly pulled out a marbles bag that sounded like it was full or quarters. "Got it. Okay, let's go dude!" He exclaimed cheerfully, jumping to his feet.

((if its cool with you, I'll skip to when they get home next post))

Dave crept out of his room and into the hallway. Bro was nodding his head, spinning jams with a pair of headphones half on, loud enough that the the music could be heard from the part not covering his ear.

Dave rushed out the door, pulling John with him before Bro could care enough to look up.

((yeah that's cool, all our RPs are turning into John Dave))

John snorted once they were clear of the door. "You're just as scared of him as I am!" he gleefully accused.

---------------


When they arrived back from the arcade (where Dave not so ironically got his ass handed to him in joust) John went straight to the kitchen and began rifling through cabinets until he found where Dave had stashed the groceries, even remembering to step out of the way when he opened the fridge. "Dave, You did get vegetable oil and not peanut oil right?"

((sorry bout that, Waiting for Bro to get the boys in the other one, not much for dad egbert to do till he serve dinner. his pranksters gambit is gonna skyrocket. ))

Bro was still mixing when the boys returned, though he had taken the headphones off. He shot a look at John, who was all up in their kitchen. He did give him props for not getting skewered when the fridge was opened.

"What's the fucking difference?" Dave called from his room, totally not sulking about his ass-handery. He'd done a lot of not-sulking today. He honestly couldn't remember if he'd gotten peanut oil or vegetable oil or petroleum oil.

((no need to apologize! I'm just waiting for bro to walk in on the boys making out with their hands because that will be hilarious.))

"Because I'm allergic to peanuts! I've told you that like a bazillion times! That's why I can't eat at the dining hall on campus" John exclaimed. "Just, where did you put it? I can check if you tell me" He dug the pots he would need out from under the sink and cleared the oven of Smuppets, chucking them unceremoniously from the kitchen without looking.

Oh right. Fucking peanuts. "I think it's over the sink," he called back. He didn't get in the way when John was cooking. He was way too good at fucking it up and just got in the way. And all that did was decrease the quality of the otherwise amazing food.

"Hey. Watch it man," Bro said, scowling at the fallen smuppets, "Those things're our livelihood." He watched John looking for the oil for a bit, then finally said, "It ain't up there. Under the sink. Thought it was dish soap or some shit."

John looked back under the sink, rummaging around for a minute before coming up with a bottle of oil. He sat back on his heels and turned the bottle to read the ingredients list before scowling. "Death isn't ironic, Dave." He stated loud enough for the boy to hear in his room before putting the bottle back and standing up. "Mr. Strider, where's the nearest corner market?" he asked, stepping from the kitchen.

"Fuck, my bad," Dave called back, cursing himself. Why did he always forget the damn peanut allergy?

Bro watched curiously as John read the ingredients, turning back to his equipment when he stood up. "Left when you go out the door. Then left again. S'called Grab n Go I think," he said without looking up.

"Okay. I should be back in, what, half an hour maybe?" John shrugged. "If I'm any longer than that, stick the cold stuff back in the fridge" he directed before walking right out the front door.

John was back almost exactly twenty seven minutes later, red-faced and sweaty from the stairs. "Last bottle" he smiled happily as he made his way back to the kitchen.

Bro looked at the clock on his iPhone, not wanting to ruin John's hard work. He was just about to put the ingredients in the fridge when John came back through the door. "Stairs gettin' to ya?" He asked, setting the ingredients back on the counter and moving far away before something caught fire somehow.

"Way to go," he said as he picked up where he left off at the turntables.

"Hey man, sorry. Next time I promise, veggie all the way," Dave said, from the hall doorway.

"Not the stairs really," John smiled brightly "Its more like a combination of the stairs and the heat." He set the oil up on the counter and picked up where he left off. "Don't sweat it Dave, you're not used to having to accommodate for something that could possibly kill..." He looked out into the living room at Bro. "Nevermind, Dave, Forget I said anything."